The greatest gift of all
Real Stories with Mary Lynch • Published 15 Dec 2011 09:30
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Last Friday, at about 3.30, I sat down at my beloved stove to write the last column for this year and possibly my last article as I don't know if I have anything more to say after nearly 75,000 words.
As I relaxed and stared out of the tiny window of the cottage I watched a car pull in across the road. I was not expecting anyone and did not recognise the car so I assumed that it was pulling in to let another vehicle pass. I thought my assumption was correct when it drove on. A few minutes later it pulled in again coming from the opposite direction so I got up and went to the door. A young woman got out and walked across to me leaving her car running.
'Are you lost?' I asked with a smile, as it was how I found the cottage in the first place.
'I don't know,' she answered, 'Is this Ti Suaimhnis?'
'Yes,' I replied.
'Are you the lady that was on the radio?' she then enquired.
'Yes, do you want to come in?' I said, as it was plain to see she was distressed.
'Have you got a minute - I hate to bother you?'
'No bother,' I assured her, switch off your car and I'll put the kettle on.
A few minutes later she was at the other side of my stove with a cup of tea and over the next few hours she told me her story. She is not ready to share it with anyone else but, it reminded me of something a man said in this story I was told over a year ago.
Changing Times
'Daddy,' he screamed from the kitchen, 'Daddy, a bit of bread and butter.' He smiled, he is a great boy he thought, he is learning to talk so well. He felt so proud and so grateful to be there to hear it.
'Coming my boy,' he said as he lifted a few things from the floor and headed to the kitchen.
'Ok Jack, that's enough,' he said as the little boy fired a piece of jam at him but smiled as he headed to the sink to wash it off.
As he looked out of the window he thought where had he gone so wrong in the past, where had it all started?
He had it all, or so they told him, and like a fool he believed them. He was flat out working, drove his SUV every morning early to the local garage, got his breakfast roll and coffee, from there to wherever it was he was working. The men were nearly always there; sometimes he did have to call them a few times as they were out every night. Every night was like a weekend then; always something going on; always something to do.
He had as many foreigners working for him as locals, there was so much work and the phone never stopped. Man, the lies he told to get them off his back, and then he would send men to do a job that they were not qualified for. A few quick lessons and off they were sent. Of course there were complaints, but at the time they counted themselves lucky to get it done.
He thought of the houses he had built and how he himself wouldn't live in them, all packed together like sardines.
'Daddy, I'm still hungry,' the wee voice shouted from behind and before he fed him, he picked him up, cuddled him and sang him a little song. The child squealed with delight.
Back to the table he cleared the food and took the dishes to the sink, put on a wash and started his daily chores of keeping house.
They played games as they tidied beds and hoovered. Cleaned the bathroom together and ran back to the washing machine to put the clothes on the line before taking the dog for a walk.
The child knew the order of things and waited until he heard his Daddy shout, 'Now it's time,' and the two of them ran for their coats and out the door like a shot.
As his son went to the shed to look for the dog he looked back at a clean house and thought, that's a great job, great to come back to a clean house, then thought, Christ, I'm beginning to think like a woman!
Down through the woods they went that day and as the child and dog ran together he watched and thought again of the boom when he had everything.
His house had cost a fortune and he thought he was being modest. His wife's Mercedes and his Jeep were changed every year. He hadn't the time to spend all the money he was making (not that he did not try!). They ate out all the time and they were so happy or so he thought at the time.
'Great day Frank,' he said to his friend when he met him with his child.
'What's so great about it?' he answered.
'Well let me see. We are healthy. We have enough to eat and we have time to spend doing things we never got to do before.'
'What are you on,' Frank asked seriously?
'Fresh air,' he answered, 'Never had time to breathe it or even recognise it was there in the past ten years.'
'Don't you miss all the good times, the money, the parties, the cars, the wonderful life we had?'
'I remember constant phone calls, jobs not finished right, no time with my kids, a wife that had everything but me. You know that is what she said the other night to me. I had everything but you; they were the sweetest words I have ever heard.'
'I suppose you are right,' Frank answered, 'we didn't have time, you know our boy was the captain of the local team and I never had time to get to a match before now. Was there yesterday and even though they won the championship we had not much to drink afterwards, couldn't afford it, but no hangover either. Actually I'm ashamed to say most of the people there only know me now even though he has been playing for years'
As they continued along the water's edge watching the two small children play in the mud of last night's rain, they chatted about their own childhood and the great things they had, and not a penny in sight. The things they had done to make money, how creative they had been; how those times had made them the people there were now, who knew how to adjust to a life of little but, to a life of so much.
'Any work now?' Frank asked.
'Yep, Mrs. McManus asked me to put an extension on the back of her house, she had been trying to get it done for years now but no one had time for a small job like that.'
'Need a labourer?' enquired Frank, as he slapped John on the back.
'But you are a qualified electrician, Frank.'
'I was a labourer long before I knew what an electrician was and if you need an electrician; I'll be more than happy to do that too.' Replied Frank
'Be delighted to work with you again,' said John, 'I'll pop over to you later when Marie gets home from work and we will discuss it. Maybe if we do a really good job like we used to, we'll get Kelly as well, they need an extension for their daughter, moving back home. She can no longer afford her mortgage.'
'It will be great to be back doing real work again, knowing you have to answer to no one but yourself.'
'Tell me John, how did you get to this place of peace in the midst of all the doom and gloom?'
'Was not really a problem,' he answered, 'It was just a matter of getting back to where we started from and to be honest the recession has taught me all the things that are really important in life, especially how you spend your time.'
When the young woman left me last Friday night I know she was feeling better and apart from cups of tea the only thing I give her was my time.
In the lead up to Christmas with a lot less money in circulation maybe we need to realize that the greatest gift you can give anyone is your time.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the paper for giving me the space to write this column - I only hope it benefited others as much as it did me. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and a special thanks to all those who responded as it is great to get feedback, even from people who don't agree with you! Wishing you all a very happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas and every good wish for 2012.
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